Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Lavender, Carrot Seed and Patchouli

I was supposed to be leaving for Argentina in a few weeks, but I'm not. My flight was booked with Air Comet, you know, the company that no longer exists?
Salva will be going on his own.

My Mum is a fan of the "everything happens for a reason" philosphic doctrine (more commonly referred to in academic circles as fatalism) Sometimes I think I've jumped on that bandwagon just because it's easier to stay positive that way. Easier to think that I was just not supposed to land in Buenos Aires now.

I recieved a really bitchy response from someone from a uni in Antwerp, Belgium where I applied to do a masters.

Of course Linguistics has nothing to do with Fine Arts, you'll need to sit an exam and enter at bachelor level.

Why did she have to say of course? It hurt my feelings.
I wrote back:

Thanks, I'm not interested in doing another bachelor degree. Are there any other universities in Antwerp that offer a master of Fine Arts?

It will all be the same. You won't get in
. -Replied the Belgian.

Now, I know it's not true, because I have a good chance of being accepted in Brussels and various Dutch places... where I've also applied, but I felt quite crushed when she wrote that. I didn't want to write anything back to her. So I thought I'd document the situation here.

Was that a bit nasty? Or is it just me?

I am all kinds of teary and bloated. The type of hormones that make you feel as though your blood were about 10 degrees warmer than usual, your breathing quite dangerously shallow. My voice box is Pandora's box. It should never be opened because it's full of exasperation. Shrill exasperation.

I need someone to slap me around a bit, because despite these little things which have been rocking my apparently fragile world, (and not in a positive way, like the way Led Zeppelin rocks my world...) there is absolutely. nothing. wrong here.

Life is a nearly silent evening, alone in my living room with a glass of red wine and generous wedge of French cheese, brought by a little french fairy who is staying with us for a while, and who knows all about the power of good energy.

I'm looking to aromatherapy to pull me out tonight. Hopefully I'll wake up grateful and serene.


  1. It appeared bitchy to me. In fact I could hear them speaking in my head as I read the words:(

    No Argentina, you must have been disappointed but hey, your mum is right, wonder what will happen instead:)

  2. I'm surprised by the woman in Antwerp. There was no need for her to make it feel so personal. Besides, judging from the work I've seen on your blog, I think you're a good candidate for any MFA program.

    Sorry to hear about Argentina, too. What a disappointment!

  3. Ah fuck 'em. Carrot seed, lavender and patchouli sounds good. You could paint that.

  4. first i´m sending you a big hug. and second, don´t let a little secretary who is miserable in her job, and who probably doesn´t speak english that well, get to you my dear. keep looking- i´m sure there is a degree out there for you- and if you have to do a bachelor´s, won´t most of your credits be applied. you´ll probably be able to finish in a year. i know, not want you want to hear... i´m routing for you. no slapping necessary- you can feel bad if you want- but just until you finish the bottle of wine ;)

  5. i just love the feel of your blog...it makes me feel really nice. thank you for your gifts.


  6. That was very nasty! I have wondered myself why I would let a person like that make me feel so bad and how can they be so certain of their answer? She can't know every circumstance. Never say never and enjoy the cheese and wine.



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