Friday, 28 January 2011

Lucky Blogger is Free

Or I would not be getting my money's worth from this site... Poor, neglected web diary.

I feel like I need to acknowledge all the change that's been going on.

It feels like another year has crept up, tapped me on the shoulder, danced all around me like a kid with ADHD, slapped me across the face and left in a huff.

We spent the 2009/2010 festive season in Salva's home town in the south of italy... the land where our place is. We spent New years eve eve getting sand in our boots, wrapped in our jackets, looking at the moon's reflection on the sea as we talked about choosing each other as co-parents. Wanting to escape the firecraker-obsessed crazed lunatics that continental Europeans become on New Year's Eve, we took a bottle of red wine, and some take-away pizzas to our empty farm house to welcome 2010. We lit a fire in its enormous stone fireplace and huddled together on a fold out bed while we watched The Sopranos. I think the fire went out shortly after midnight, and we went back to the downstairs bedroom at my mother-in law's at around half twelve, where we lay listening to cheap fireworks until dawn...

This year we had dinner with friends, came home soon after midnight, and were again consistently woken by cheap firecrackers until dawn. We were even working our way through the first season of Boardwalk Empire. Anyway. I guess what I want to say is, while so much changes, so much stays the same. Like our love for HBO and mafia dramas.

I don't like to complain about time going too fast. There is some part of me that feels that if it is, it's my fault somehow. But this is a strange season for me. I celebrate-and I use the term loosely-the beginning of the new calendar year every 1st of January, and then a new year on earth a week later on my birthday. This year 2011, my 25th year and my first baby's life outside of my own body will all begin within 2 months of each other. So many changes in the air. So much happening. I can't even think about it because I'm concentrating on my breathing.

Then there is my body that has swollen and morphed into something I can hardly recognise myself in. I love being pregnant. I do. I love the mystery and the early, secret connection with this girl. But I in no way expected the strange moments. The achey-ness and not remembering what I look like without this big round belly that I can't keep my hands off. One of the strangest feelings I have is the one that I'm going to really miss this.
Did I mention that today I am 36 weeks pregnant? That means, according to my midwife, that she is full-term, and could come at any minute. Well I guess she could have come at any minute during the whole pregnancy, but now she could come and I wouldn't have to worry. I could just birth her.

Salva is preparing the recording of AzzBand's first cd for next week. We are preparing a concert for Thursday night, another for next Saturday night, and will spend the weekend recording. My last concerts with this one inside.

I am madly trying to put together an arty project I have in store for September, October, knowing my time is limited. Business cards. Web site. Emailing. Still thinking about starting my masters at around the same time. Maybe I can do it all if I do all the organising now.

I am a half-hearted nester. I've been sewing cloth nappies from old towels while sipping cup after cup of rooibos tea.
My parents have been here on and off for the last 6 weeks. My Mum sewed a lining for the handmade basket we found in Granada a few months ago. Dad installed some shelving and fastened a cabinet to the wall that we have still to convert into a change-station. It was really sad when they left yesterday.

Off to see our bass player in concert with his rock band. Must try to keep blogging. There is a little bit more on my mind...


  1. Lady, you do FABULOUS bump. And I know what you mean about missing being pregnant (at least the first time when you don't have to be pregnant AND run around after wee people).

    PS. Ages ago, your Mum left the sweetest tea towel-related comment...

  2. you are stunning. blessings for a beautiful birth!


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